I have been going through some strange changes.
A few years ago I finally hit the bottom of a dark descent. The slow crawl out of the deep cavern was only possible because of the guiding light and the certainty that I was not alone. God Himself in the form of the Holy Spirit lifted me up and carried me out of that of that pitch black hole.It was that light that helped me hang on when the darkness surrounded me.
I have decided to share this story about my health because I want someone out there to avoid the problems that I have gone through.
I believe that life starts at conception so I guess that is where I will begin.
If it is bad genes that may be responsible for my problems, they may have come from my father's side because there was a lot of Parkinson's Disease on his side of the family and he was diagnosed with it as well. I believe this is all related.
Ever since I can remember, my mind does not shut off. When I was little I could not fall asleep at night so I would sneek back down the stairs and then my dad would carry me back up when I finally did fall asleep. I would have the most vivid dreams and I still believe that I could float down the stairs in the morning. I always believed in God but it wasn't until I met Jesus face to face that I finally overcame my fear of the dark.
My mom must have wanted to get me out of her hair when I was 4 because she took me downtown and had me tested to see if I could go to kindergarden early since my birthday was at the end of November, I would have to wait until the next year. After drawing and writing and answering some questions, they said I was ready and that I would always be in the top ten percent of my class. So off I went to kindergarten.
My teacher had a paddle with my name on it in 3rd grade and it went downhill from there. I must have had some sort of undiagnosed form of autism and when I take the online test at Aspergers Test Site it always says that I definitely have it. The first time I ever heard of it was when my son was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was in first grade and was having behavior problems in school. He was reading and doing arithmatic before he went to kindergarten. At first he was recognized as the reader of the month then writer of the month then it was "Mrs. Hambor, get in here...". It was at Saint Francis school that I learned the true value of a good teacher. It took a while to get him out of there and into the gifted program at a public school but what a difference it made for our entire family. When you see your son who is so gifted being treated unfairly it is heartbreaking. You do everything you can but often times you just don't know what to do.
Not being socially aware of how to act, I went along with whatever sounded fun. By the time I was in Junior High School I started drinking alcohol. I had friends from all different clicks. During high school I started smoking and hanging around with some shady characters that could have gotten me into trouble but God was looking out for me. When I went to college I scraped one of the 1's off of my id making me 10 months older so I could get into the bars.
Everything I ate came out of a bag or a box of some sort of container. I was (am) a terrible cook and one time blew up a chicken. The kids would know it was time to eat when the smoke alarm went off.
It started to catch up with me when I moved to Florida in 1988. I was diagnosed with discoid lupus. I would get extremely itchy when I would go out in the sun. I got these lesions all over that would not go away without the medicine my doctor prescribed. I didn't go to the doctor unless it was necessary so I just lived with it for a long time.
I became allergic to all different kinds of things, laundry detergent, all shellfish, olives, almonds. I started getting hives for eating anything and it was hard to tell what it was. The sun would make me feel like the life was sucked out of me then the itching...so itchy. I had red itchy patches on my head where no hair would grow.
When I would go to the doctor they always said I was depressed and would prescribe all different kinds of things. I would have every negative side affect there could be and more so I gave up on that and started drinking more beer. It started out as 3 a day, then 4, and after several years of self medicating with beer. I got really sick. I was in so much pain, I could barely get up in the morning. My whole body hurt so bad and I had no energy. The lupus started getting so bad that one day I went to the doctor and he was digging into one of the itchy lumps with a knife and I was just screaming in agony. I kept telling him that it was something about food. I could feel it but it was in things I always ate. Like ramen noodles, Arbys, jars of spaghetti sauce. My normal ketchup buzz as I called it was getting rediculous. Every time I ate ketchup, I would sweat. That happened for years and I just laughed it off but it was really bad now.
One day after eating a double batch of ramen noodles with a spoonful of butter and parmasean cheese I was going to work at the gallery. I felt like I was having a heart attack. I rolled the window down in case I collapsed at the wheel people could see me. My heart was palpatating and I could barely breath. It was like I just couldn't get enough breath in. Even writing about it now gives me that feeling. Yuck.
I kept telling the doctor about the pain and the heart palpatations and the bleeding sores but he said he thought I was depressed and gave me some seratonin. It put me right to sleep so I started taking it at night and it is amazing because I hadn't slept through the night for ten years. I would wake up five or six times a night and struggle to fall back asleep.
I was getting affected by the phase of the moon. When there was a new moon I would feel like there was a massive pressure on me and I was so moody and negative. A shaman once told me that I was a moon child and I would be much happier if I followed the 13 month lunar calendar instead of the Gregorian calendar that doesn't make any natural sense.
I didn't think much about that at the time but now I was wondering if he really did know something and I should have taken his advise then.
Since I am on the subject, my chiropractor who practices kineseology told me 20 years ago that I couldn't eat gluten or dairy. I thought he was crazy because I ate that all the time and I didn't follow his advice. Little did I know...
It started to happen on a regular basis and it would last for days. I took it upon myself to go to a rhumatologist because I thought it was something maybe they would know about. I told him about all the things I had been experiencing including about the moon and he told me he thought I needed a psychiatrist. I gave him a piece of my mind and stormed out of his office. I really did start to loose my mind. I couldn't remember anything. I would forget appointments, my phone, I would walk into my studio and forget what I came in for then I would go in the house and remember something else and get totally distracted. I tried to build my website and I had to sort through thousands of images to find the originals. I tried for months and got nowhere. I would have all the intentions of sitting down at the computer and finding the images but when I would start looking, the next thing you know I would be buying shoes. Any distraction would be like a pretty butterfly. I would just follow the pretty butterflies. I was getting nothing done.
We were on vacation in Ohio and I kept having those attacks because we were eating more fast food than usual and I still had no idea what was causing it. We had made a dinner for the whole family and I was really paying attention to what I ate and how it made me feel. I remember exactly what I ate and here it is...Campbell's cream of chicken soup mixed with milk and canned chicken then placed on a white bun.
That is the meal that almost killed me but also opened my eyes.
That night when I went to bed my heart was skipping beats like crazy and then beat beat beat. I could hear it blasting in my ears. Every little sound was amplified and my eyes were seeing every little speck of anything out of order. A piece of dirt on the floor or a spider web in the window, everything looked scary and strange. I was in this old house and I thought there were spiders everywhere and I could not sleep because I was sure one went into my ear and was going to make a web and have babies.
It was terrifiying. I was in full panic mode by the time the sun came up. I went out and looked at the can of chicken soup to see the ingredients and the only thing that stood out to me was the words Monosodium Glutamate.
I had heard of people not being able to eat that but I have always eaten that stuff and it never did anything to me...
I went up to the graveyard in Deersville Ohio where my dad is buried because I wanted to look this up on the internet and it was the only place in town that I could get service. I typed in the words and that is where my healing began. I started to read about all of the problems that can be caused by MSG. Heart problems, depression, skin problems, eye problems, panic attacks, Parkinson's disease, Fibromyalgia, pain, headaches, memory loss, Alzheimer's, Autism, twitching, and on and on and on.
Oh my gosh. What an eye opener. I went to my doctor armed with an array of artlcles and information about excitotoxicity. That is what I had. I knew it. It totally made sense to me. My brain was so mushy I could barely figure out what I was reading when it got technical but I knew enough and I knew my body. We went a few rounds in his office. When he looked at my information he said he thought I was bipolar and that Excitotoxicity was not a proven science. I almost flipped out. I asked him if he thought God was real because He is not proven. Well I believe in God and I know that this is what I have.I could feel the stuff going through my body and affecting the lupus and the lesions would almost erupt with itchiness.
As I stormed out of his office he gave me a sheet with directions to Doctor Perlmutter's office in Naples and said that maybe he could help me.
I made an appointment and he was so popular he was booked out for a year so I went to another doctor in his practice, Dr. Roberts. I almost didn't make it there because I was so lost. I even lived in Naples for 6 years! I was an hour and a half late. I was a mess. I think I weighed in at 91 pounds. Thank God for Doctor Roberts. She listened to me and agreed with me and ordered a whole array of testing on me. It came back that I had no hormones in my body and was allergic to gluten, dairy, kale, pineapple, beans, blueberries, eggs and a ton of other stuff. Mostly it was the free glutamate that was causing all of the problems so she told me NO Gluten, NO Dairy and NOTHING PROCESSED. And that was on top of all shellfish, kale and bla bla bla. She immediately put me on a liver detoxing powder mix that lasted a week and I would go down and have glutathion infusions with an iv twice a week. To save money on the infusions my sister went down and got trained on how to give them to me and she would come over and put the iv in and gave me the infusions. God bless her.
Another thing Dr. Roberts did was insist that I take bioidentical hormones. I didn't want to at first but she was very adament. Now that I have been taking them for a year and a half I have gotten so much better. I ran out of them and didn't have any for about two weeks and I noticed that my hair started falling out and I didn't feel well at all. I had to go back to the doctor to get my prescription refilled so of course now she wants to do more testing. I am waiting to go back this week and she also has been wanting me to do chelation from day one but I refused that and she still is trying to talk me into it so I think I will try it next visit. She also said that I was severly allergic to so much that there was this experimental thing that she wanted me to do. I had to read about it and it did not sound fun. You could only eat lamb and brown rice and organic vegetables. No nothing else. Water and no medicine, shampoo or soap or deoderant, advil, alcohol, what else oh yea, get a series of shots starting with every other day and gradually tapering off for the rest of your life. I said no thanks.
Another recommendation was that I go on a rotation diet and not eat the same thing again for four days.
No Gluten, No Dairy and Nothing Processed (Even if it says Gluten Free or Dairy Free or MSG Free, No Shellfish, No blueberries, No Kale, No Pineapple, No Almonds, No Beef, Chicken or Pork Unless Organic Grass Fed, No Soups, No Sauces, No Condiments, No Artificial Sweetners, No Refined Sugar, No Regular Salt, No Salads from Salad Bars or from a Bag, No Fruit Sprayed with Chemicals, No White Refined Sugar, Nothing out of a bag, box, can, jar or tub. Eggs only every few days.
So this is what I try to do. It was overwhelming at first but now after a year and a half I have never felt better in my life. I'm Happy!!
Let me go back to the beginning of my healing. When the doctor said nothing processed, that was the one I had the most problem with. I did not understand the process of being processed and how incredibly deceptive lables are. I tried stuff that said all natural or just had the words natural flavoring or spices. One time I had a gluten free pasta with a jar of Prego spaghetti sauce because I recognized all of the ingredients and it sounded okay to me. Tomatoes, Onions, Garlic, Spices. All NATURAL it touted!!
That night I felt it coming on and was curled up crying to my husband that it was happening again! I was so furious. I called Campbells Soup Company and asked them about the MSG that was obviously in there and they refused to admit it. They apologized for me getting sick and sent me some coupons.
Yuck. So you could say I have learned the hard way. When she said nothing processed she meant it. Now food manufacturere are allowed to call free glutamate which is what msg is "spices", or "natural flavoring" or other code words like "hydrolized anything". It is so deceiving. They should plaster it on anything that has free glutamate in it to warn people. It is a neurotoxin. It is slowly killing our population and the government is covering it up.
I am the canary in the coal mine and I hope everyone begins to hear my call.
PROCESSED FOOD BAD
Demand organic, whole food and take the poison out of our food.
I learned the hard way and I am still learning. Yesterday something gave me hives. this is day two for them so they should be gone in a couple days that is if I don't eat the same thing again. I am pretty sure it is the so called gluten free grilled chicken nuggets and waffel fries that I got at Chick Fil A yesterday after I almost passed out from not eating when I was at my son's golf tournament. There was nothing for me to eat there even though there was a nice menu, so on the way home I stopped at the Chick Fil A. I have ordered them before when I didn't have much choice and did not have a problem but I only got the 4 piece before and this time I was so hungry I went for the 12 piece and I ate them all. It's either that or the frozen strawberries that I had in my morning smoothie. Some places use spray that makes me have hives and I got a different brand than my usual Publix brand that do not give me hives.
I was diagnosed with slow metabolism so that is why it takes 4 days to get out of my system I guess. I couldn't understand how I could have slow metabolism and be so skinny.
Big news this week. I finally made it over 100 pounds and even made it up to 104.9 the other day. The bad part about trying to gain weight on this kind of diet is you gain a couple of pounds then you eat something that makes you sick and you loose even more pounds than you gained. I do believe that I am finally over the hump if I am just dilligent. With the holidays coming up and all the parties I am going to have to make a plan instead of going to a party planning to eat, I will eat before hand and pretend like I am enjoying a big plate of food so no one will bother me like I am some sort of freak because I am so skinny yet I won't eat. People don't get it. I love to eat, just not stuff that kills my brain cells and makes me itch and have a stomach ache.
Think about a normal Superbowl party spread and how good it tasts. That is because almost every single thing is laced with a hidden flavor enhancer called msg. That addicting coating on the Doritos, the sauces you are squirting on the gluten and hormone injected cow bones you are sucking on, The fake cheese products that has released more free glutamate than a system can get rid of so it builds up in your blood. The chemicals that turn other chemicals different colors that cause brain cells to become excited and cause a glutamatergic storm in your system. Uncontrollable fixations on anything, impulsive picking and catatonic episodes. Flashbacks to uncomfortable memories. Over and over.
I went through a long period of time where it felt like Groundhog Day every day. Getting into the shower every day was like, not this again? The same old thing, every day. How long must I go on? Why is everyone so happy all the time and I feel like crawling in a hole? Is this it? The empty bottles would pile up in my studio. I wouldn't empty it until it was overflowing onto the floor. Then I would drag it out to the recycling bin. The sound of all those empty beer bottles would make a loud embarassing noise. Every day I would get beer. I would go to different stores some times so it wouldn't look so bad. Then I just started buying bigger boxes of beer but of course then I would drink more.
The day before Mother's Day 2014 I had my usual 9 beers. That night I had a meltdown and I was in the bathroom praying on my knees to God that He would help me stop drinking. My mom always told me to quit drinking and was worried about me. I called my mom for Mother's Day and I had not sent her a gift yet so I told her to sit down, I had a gift for her. I told her that for her gift I quit drinking. That was that. I don't drink. God answered my prayers.
I remember after I started to feel better and my brain started to work again I came up with an anology of what it felt like. At first it was like I was searching for something and would go into the closet to get it but when I turn on the light, darkness. Nothing. Then after a while it was like I went into the closet and turned on the light and it was still dark but you had an idea of where the thing was. Then a while longer, it was like I went to the closet and I knew where the thing was but the light was very dim. Then gradually it was like you go into the closet and you turn on the light and it works. You can see the thing you are looking for, and you knew right where it was.
Another thing that was amazing was my pain. I didn't realize how much pain that I was in until I started to feel better. I was walking up my studio stairs and I was like, oh my gosh, it doesn't hurt. My body was getting stronger and feeling better every day as long as I stayed out of the sun and kept to my very strict diet. It is really, really hard, I will not kid you but it is worth it to feel better. I go to sleep at night around 11 oclock and sleep until about 5 or 5:30 then I am up and ready to go. I don't have enough hours in a day and so much to do. It feels really worth it after going through all of that because I believe you can never appreciate what you have until you feel what it's like to not have it.
Everyone should be poor for a while too. It's a good experience to have. It builds character unless you allow the government to take care of you and become a victim, then you feel guilty that you know you are getting away with taking something for free that you didn't work for. Conscience is something we are all born with. If you don't have one then I believe you are flawed. If you try to pretend you don't have a conscience then that is sin and the wages of sin is death. So I pity those who get suckered into believing that deception. That you can get away with something. You don't. Period. The Truth is The Truth.